On this site, I relate true stories of my life from the magick, mystical and spiritual traditions. I continue to be a work in progress, ever striving for that state of self-realization and Unity with the Divine.
I’ve been studying spiritual matter since I was a child. My father, a minister, took me to sit with the dead and dying. As a child I saw a lot of death and it affected me. It made life somber and it caused me to re-evaluate my beliefs in time.
Early on I had a slew of paranormal events, but none as shocking as something that occurred when I was 13 years old. Having disembodied voices whispering in the night really shook me up. I never had that experience repeat, but others took its place.
My Varied Paths
After a divorce I turned to Buddhism, and from there I later moved into the study of Magick and Occultism.
I joined a magickal order called the Esoteric Order of the Golden Dawn. The local adepts were very amazing people, but the leadership was vexed with issues. There was so much infighting and outfighting with other Golden Dawn orders.
The Esoteric Order of the Golden Dawn was my first initiation. I went to a physical location and went through a physical initiation. It was life changing.
After the Golden Dawn, I met a Scientologist… He ran a company that I was applying for a job with. Through him I was introduced to the religion and followed it for a year.
I left Scientology after so much hassling for money… large sums of money.
But that isn’t to say Scientology had nothing to offer. I found some great things in their teachings. I learned tricks to control negative people – put to practice I turned a hateful, angry boss into a best friend. I also learned how to tune into perceptics in visions to bring the vision into hyper reality.
After Scientology I went back to the occult and I found a wonderful teacher of Enochian magick. She went by the name Athena and she ran a site called Enochian.org.
She introduced me to a deeper relationship to entities… rather than building walls and circles. Rather than putting time into wielding weapons and expecting the worst, she worked almost like a shaman. She could deal with the negative, but she didn’t use traditional banishings. Instead she used prayer and other depths to establish cleansing and clear reception.
Athena also taught me how to scry the Enochian letters… and that led me to scry other symbols. On top of that, she brought up the works of Franz Bardon, which also influenced me at the time.
Around the same time, I joined Aurum Solis (out of Canada.) I did that without a physical initiation. Simply I followed a set of teachings online.
I also experimented with the Rosicrucian Oder AMORC, through their mail based teachings. That didn’t interest me too much and Aurum Solis was just too far to keep the work up. So I moved on.
Seeking out another teacher, I ended up joining the Thelemic one on one teacher / student relationship called the Astrum Argentum (A.’.A.’.) I took the oath from a real lineage holder and I am still, as of this writing, a member of the A.’.A.’.
The A.’.A.’. leadership introduced me to the OTO, which I didn’t care for… and also an initiatory group of Thelemites called Temple of the Silver Star. I did that for a short while, and it just wasn’t compatible with my world view… which also broke my connection to the A.’.A.’. as the leader of the temple was the same teacher in my A.’.A.’. degrees.
The A.’.A.’. required some hard core beliefs, like memorizing Liber LXV, which still to this day comes to my mind at times. I love it. I’m just not cut out to raise Crowley to a symbol of prophet… I just am not compatible with what he represented.
At some point I became a follower of a system of Religious Science… and then I found through it, a Hindu based group that was founded from the teachings of Paramhansa Yogananda. I stayed in that for a very long time and I learned a variety of things. I also met some of the most peaceful people I’ve ever seen.
Both Buddhism and Hinduism taught me a lot about the mind. I can’t really get behind the fixation of Hinduism with the human body – I preferred the ideas of Emptiness in Buddhism…
For a year of my life recently, I studied the works of a self-appointed guru who ran a company called H.B.I. They taught a lot of good information about psychic work, intent, feeling, heart center, meditation, energy and special states of consciousness they called the In Between.
After a year of it, I couldn’t deal with the guru’s attitude, anger, money and marketing of high cost teachings and self-righteousness, so I left… but I do respect his work.
And again I went into studies of Buddhism, going into Zen, Shamata and Vipassana.
At this point in my life I study Shamanism, Witchcraft, occultism, magick and mysticism. I work on states of non-thought and presence, and integrate it into my occult work.
Here you’ll find true stories of my work over time and events currently going on with my practices. This is, in a sense, a Book of Shadows. Take what you will, feel free to try on your own.